Everything is going to be okay

"Everything is going to be okay."

That's what I was whispering in my son's ear as I was trying to calm him down at his usual 'unsettled' period this evening. True enough, after 15 minutes of unconsolable crying, he calmed down and is now happily snoozing on my beloved's chest. What a great chest that is, he's had (and will have) many a good sleeps there. My beloved has taken to call our son Junior Burger, and it's stuck.

As I venture into the new year, I am me, but not quite me... I am now a mother and I am responsible for someone. There are many times during the day when I flit between extreme joy and anticipation to what lays ahead for my new family and an anxious fear of what I do not know, am yet to know. I wonder if I'll be a good parent, whether I'll still be there for my friends, be the lover and friend my husband and I were before. The answer to all the above is probably yes and no. Possibly the scariest thing for me is that life as I know it no longer looks the same; nor does it hold the same appeal. Yet, I don't quite know how to move forward. And then I realise... the whole point is that I don't know. That this is a journey I've never experienced before. And I should just surrender...

See you in the new year - be safe, be well. Much love xxx

I know I'm in love

So our bundle of joy is finally here... and all I can say is, he is amazing. As my beloved said, the perfect specimen. We love him to bits already and he hasn't even done anything other than feed, poo, wee, cry and sleep.

I also know I'm definitely in mama-love mode when I'm up at 5am in the morning examining his poo and feeling like a deliriously happy woman the fact that it's nice & runny. Too much information? Alright then... :) :)

I wish I could record every single second of this happening, but all I have are my memories and hopefully many more to come!

The oddest mix-up of words this morning between my beloved and I (discussing the poo) -

"Woo and pee"....? (we meant poo & wee, but it was early and we are new parents, speech dialogue was not high on the agenda).

Oh baby, where art thou?

Six days and counting. We can't wait to meet you. But when you're ready...

Love, Mama xx