Weekend, failed knitting & Olga

Happy weekend to all. It's a hot and blustery Sunday, about to peak at 37 degrees. We have all our blinds and windows shut and the air conditioning idling at 27 degrees. Must be enough to get us through the day.

Cyclone Olga is descending upon Queensland as we speak, hence bringing all this crap weather. With a name like Olga, I can't help but think this bird is gonna be a mean one.

See the red vest? I busted my gut to make this for Liam for Christmas and I finished it! But you know what? It wouldn't fit through his head! Knitting = failed! Pondering if I should shave off his ears or rip off the neckline and start again. Both involve alot of pain, I'm sure.

By the way, ONLY kidding about shaving off Liam's ears. Don't go calling the DHS on me now.

Friday in pictures

[adding 'brrroom brroomm' to his vocabulary]

[the short view]

Long live play!

Studies show that children today are growing up way too fast! Not playing enough outdoors, not being able to take risks. Play has become a dirty word! Now isn't that sad?

This is to remind myself that playtime, anytime, anywhere, anyhow is good. For him, for me.

On another note, Liam only picks up sticks. Is this a male thing, I wonder?

Pure

Joy.

A warm Saturday afternoon, blowing bubbles in the garden with the children; my five year old niece and 13 month old son. Watching them squeal in delight, chasing after these perfectly round suds floating in the air, reflecting all the colours of the rainbow. And the meaning of life.

Happiness.

Dancing to old vinyls after dinner. Watching my niece rock on to her dad's singing.
Niece// "Who's that singing?"
Her dad/ 'Me."
Niece// "How come it doesn't sound like you?"
Her dad/ "I was alot younger then."

Heh heh heh. Ah, five year olds.

Chastising myself

You cannot win this race called parenthood. Especially if you are a mother. Actually, I wouldn't know it in any other person's shoe. Actually, I should just get to the point instead of digressing (as I always do, and make this log twice as long!).

Going back to work four days a week has been... enlightening. On one hand, I have all this headspace, and although I do still only sleep around 6 hours on a daily basis, I'm functioning alot happier. It's not that I wasn't happy before. Having Liam is by far one of my happiest days, but also full of doubts and fears, compounded by lack of sleep. Hence, a complete and total wreck on bad days, and slightly neurotic on better ones.

On the other hand, I've missed him terribly, and each day, I feel he is getting more independent. YES YES! I've been whining forever that I can't wait for him to be more independent. THIS is my conundrum. I know it is part of his development, and that it is fantastic. But somehow, my heart is two steps behind. And much as my brain tells it to catch up, I'm still stuck two steps behind. It's frustrating. Very much so. Because perhaps I'm hindering his development by subconsciously wanting him to rely on me still. Oh, the dilemma!

Mother's guilt, they call it. Damn if you do, damn if you don't.

down memory lane

Some days, like today, I miss the old me.

Reuploading my old posts. Wow, I feel really nostalgic about me!!

I've been ranting for five years now.

Numero due

We celebrated our second anniversary today. How time flies. Sometimes I forget to look at him. And now, sometimes, when he speaks, I forget to listen. And then I catch myself. I remember that no matter what has changed in life, he'll always be by my side. And that makes me extremely happy, and blessed. And then I remember to listen again.

 

 

 

The start of the year always starts of the same with me. Full of "this year I'll do more of this, like blogging more often". And so, I do. Three times and counting.

I just really need to write this.

I just read a friends blog. And she mentioned about old friends. And in my head, they all appear...without thought, hesitation. And yet, how many of them have I really spoken with at length the past year? Or even, the last two years? I want to be there for them, to chat, to laugh, to cry, to debate, to dream. My friend, please, forgive me. I'll do more of this this year. Fuck Facebook, Twitter and all these social interfaces that reduces our lives and friendships to party pictures and 160 characters.

going back to where it began

Did I mention Happy New Year? Yes, yes.

A day for going back to nature. Celebrating life (birthday). Eating cake. A paddle in the pool (for the boy). A rest. Some whinging. A beautiful movie (Ten Canoes).

the first day of the rest...

I am thankful for many things. Family, good friends, good health, being happy. Chinese people have it so right. That is all you need.

Enclosed are our idyllic days of summer, so far.

Ah, also. Being thankful for having the time to spend with loved ones. There are things, and then there are things!