you are shittin' me

All baby books say that babies from nought till about 9 months sleep one big sleep (i.e. 1 - 1.5hrs) in the morning, and one big sleep in the afternoon. Then from 4pm, they turn into a demon and unleash hell until they deign to fall asleep. Then from 9 months, they drop their afternoon sleep and unleash hell earlier.

Wellll.... my son does 20 minutes naps, once in the morning and sometimes once in the afternoon. For months, I was like a mama on a hot tin roof, willing this child to sleep. He usually does, with lots of bouncing on the fit ball, singing, rocking, patting. And let me tell ya, eight months on, it's still full speed ahead, no signs of abating. And in the meantime, he's gotten heavier, learnt to headbang that would put a heavy metal band to shame, pull my hair and learnt to bite me (that's a big NO NO; childcare and kindy sends those to detention centres*).

So, to all you child psychologist book writers, stop writing and telling us our child has big sleeps once in the morning and afternoon. The god honest truth is that most children rarely do that. On the odd occasion, yes, and oh-what-a-beeaautiful-day that is, but most days, no. Period. No buts, nuh-uh.

So if I need to bloody rock, pat, sway, pull faces at him to sleep, I will. Even if I do it for 40 minutes to get him to sleep 20.

* just kidding, they don't really. But biting is bad business.